Marriage – Weddings – Attempts at Positivity

This past week has been…I can’t even find the words. Confusing? Heartbreaking? Exciting? Bittersweet? There are many things to be excited about, and also many to make us question that excitement.

“In the week after nine people were shot dead at Emanuel AME Church in South Carolina, six churches with predominately black congregations in five Southern states have burned. Three of the fires are being investigated as arson.”

Obama memes are popping up all over Facebook citing this past week as one of his best, but they don’t mention that he gave a eulogy at a funeral for a pastor who was shot because of the color of his skin. How do we still live in this world, and how have we convinced ourselves for so long that we don’t?

It’s also increasingly interesting to me that there has been so much talk about marriage rights and so little about the maintenance of Obamacare. It seems like universal healthcare, given to all persons regardless of freakin’ marriage status, is a really, really important thing that I think is worth celebrating. I will toast to that!

When the verdict came down that SCOTUS ruled in favor of marriage regardless of sexual orientation, I was excited. I felt good to actually feel hopeful for once about what the rulers of the country decided. Yet, when I read the language of the declaration, it felt so deeply conservative that I couldn’t help but be upset by it. I wanted to let myself be happy about this change, this shift, this turn in public opinion, but the thing is, it’s not necessarily a shift in ideals. Here’s the paragraph, written by Justice Kennedy:

Though many have praised the language of this ruling, I find it deeply troubling. As individuals, we cannot fulfill our potential; it is only through marriage that we can become “greater than we once were.” So, I can’t have a relationship that isn’t marriage that somehow transcends my own individual wants and needs. I have to be validated by the state – I have to log whatever my love is in the books, or else I don’t have, let alone demonstrate, these “highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family.” Family = marriage, children, and nothing else, and Love = marriage. This is conservative, and there’s no pretense here that it’s not. If I choose not to get married, I will be CONDEMNED TO LIVE IN LONELINESS, and I will HAVE NO DIGNITY IN THE EYES OF THE LAW. Let’s not even get into the fact that he mentions life beyond death. We all know that religion and the state are deeply intertwined, but most of the time there’s some facade that claims secularism. MY plea is for people to be equal in the eyes of the law regardless of religion, race, gender, sexual orientation, class… but that is not the world we live in. My friend Nino (more on him later) said it a bit more light-heartedly on twitter:

On the other side of the coin, I attended a really beautiful wedding this weekend. Two of my friends – Mareike and Rachel – stood in front of their friends and family and declared their love for one another. The ceremony was touching; one of the best writers I know (Nino) was the officiant and he wrote a perfect address. They broke a bunch of plates, they stepped on a glass, they sawed a log in half! It was brilliant. The reception was so much fun, and it was so true to their personalities. Most weddings are so conventional that it doesn’t feel genuine – they don’t speak to the actual feelings of the people involved, and it feels cheesy and overdone. Rachel and Marieke had tons of beer, meat pies, gummy bears, a homemade cake, and lots and lots of dancing! I can’t quite reconcile my feelings on the past week’s events. I know I had a lot of fun at the wedding, and I know I feel weird and hapless about the SCOTUS declaration, and I know I still feel terrible and guilty about the Charleston shooting that brings home in the most terrible way how real racism is and how much we need gun regulation. But for now, I guess I’ll focus on the fact that we all had a lot of fun at that wedding, and end with something positive. I very much want to be positive. So, here’s some pictures.

Nino Xander Testa, officiant extraordinair (just look at that suit!)

They literally sawed that log in half in their wedding clothes. It was really impressive.

Judy and I after the ceremony. We color-coordinated!

Tufts squad. Jackie bringing it as per usual in her fly white blazer.

Happy times. Noodle salad.

One of my favorite pictures of picture taking 🙂

Jackie and Erin, looking seriously glam. Boston in the background!

That’s all for now. I tried to end on a happy note! Apologies for the cynicism – sometimes I just can’t help it. Here’s to beer, and gummy bears, and sawing logs!!

Roasted Potato Leek Soup + Tiny Garden

Though I have been working on my dissertation – mostly reading and taking notes – I have also been trying to cook more, and have started up my subscription to the organic produce delivery service, Boston Organics. Basically, they send you a box of fruits and veggies every week or two; you can choose certain things not to include (like, if you hate onions), but otherwise it’s the freshest most local assortment they can procure for that week. It’s great for me right now because it forces me to be a little more creative with my meals; rather than just making recipes off blogs, I have to think of what I can make with the ingredients on hand.

This week, the box included lacinato (dinosaur) kale, leeks, potatoes, broccoli, chives, an avocado, a green bell pepper, crimini mushrooms, plums, bananas, gala apples, and 2 anjou pears. Quite the bounty! I have to admit though, I wasn’t terribly creative with my first recipe. I saw leeks and potatoes, and went straight to roasted potato leek soup. I know it’s not seasonal – soup in the summer? It seems like there are two kinds of soup people: soup-is-for-winter-only people, and I-like-soup-enough-to-make-it-in-the-summer folks. It looks like I’m the latter! The weather hasn’t turned that hot yet, anyway; we haven’t put the AC’s in yet, and can get by with fans circulating the air from the open windows. So, I decided to roughly adapt this recipe from Ina Garten that is probably my favorite soup recipe I’ve ever made. Her version includes arugula, creme fraiche, and heavy cream, none of which were in my refrigerator, so I threw in what I had instead: buttermilk, sour cream, carrots, and celery, for that extra flavor the arugula would add.

Ina has this lovely recipe for crispy shallots that she serves with her soup, but they take quite awhile to make. Instead I opted to make kale chips for the crunchy bits on top. Here’s my recipe for Roasted Potato Leek Soup with Crispy Kale:

Ingredients

Soup:

2.5 pounds white or gold potatoes, peeled and chopped small

2 large celery sticks, ends removed, roughly chopped

3 small or 2 large carrots, peeled and chopped small

2-3 leeks, dark green parts removed, washed thoroughly and chopped

salt and pepper

3 tbsp olive oil

1/3 cup white wine, plus 2 tbsp

4 cups vegetable stock (may need 1 extra cup, depending on how thick/thin you like your soup)

3/4 cup buttermilk

6 oz. sour cream

1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese, plus more for serving

Kale chips: 

1 bunch lacinato kale, stems removed and chopped into 1-2 inch pieces

2 tbsp olive oil

salt and pepper

red pepper flakes

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper, and place chopped potatoes, leeks, carrots, and celery on top. Toss with 3 tbsp olive oil, and sprinkle with 1 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp coarse ground pepper. Roast in the oven for 35-40 minutes, until tender and golden. Flip the veggies with a spatula halfway through cooking.

2. After roasting, deglaze the sheet pan with the white wine, and stir veggies with spatula to scrape up the roasted bits on the sheet pan. Put all of the wine-veggies in a large stock pot or dutch oven, and cover with the 4 cups of broth. Using an immersion blender, blend the vegetables with the broth until your desired consistency (I like my soup relatively smooth, so I blended it for quite awhile). If you don’t have an immersion blender, you should get one; just kidding – you can use a food processor or blender and blend the stock with the vegetables in batches.

3. Place the pot with the blended soup over a stove eye on medium heat, and stir in buttermilk and sour cream. Reheat slowly, stirring frequently.

4. While the soup is reheating, toss the chopped kale with 2 tbsp olive oil, 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp pepper, and 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet in the 400 degree oven. Roast kale until crispy, about 15-20 minutes, flipping and stirring halfway through with a spatula. Really watch the kale – it will burn quickly once it reaches the right amount of crispy.

5. After the soup is heated through, stir in the parmesan cheese and add an additional 1-2 tbsp of white wine. Taste for seasonings, and add a dash of salt and pepper if needed.

To serve, ladel the soup into bowls and top with crispy kale. Drink the leftover white wine on the side!

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In other news, and to completely change the subject, my garden has been growing! The zucchini is particularly flourishing, and the cucumber plants are trellising up some string I placed on the railing. Very exciting! Before and after pics:

Cucumber plants, soon after I planted them:

Cucumber plants now! Note the little swirlies (technical term, I know) creeping up that string:

Zucchini plants, soon after I planted them (they were larger than the cucumber plants to begin with, and this is not the best picture):

Little kale:

Now, the zucchini and kale together! They are looking great:

You might not be able to tell from the pictures, but the kale has gotten larger and sprouted new leaves. There were originally six small zucchini plants, but the weakest from each container was killed off by the other two stronger plants. Now there are small buds that I think will be flowers, which will produce zucchini. I really hope that I can get at least a few zucchini and cucumbers from these plants. I haven’t been a terribly successful gardener in the past, for various reasons: apartment living and moving every year or so, poor ground soil, and one particularly resilient ground hog. This time, I’m hoping my little plants pull through! For now, I will go eat my non-seasonal leftover soup 🙂

Summer goals + things I’ve already done!

I have received a fellowship from the graduate school at Tufts to work on my dissertation this summer – hooray! But, I have a number of other things that need to be finished over the course of the summer as well. I am breaking up my goals and schedule into dissertation and other projects, including this blog. I am mainly listing the dissertation goals here so that I have something to be accountable to (the internet).  Here we go!

Dissertation: 

– Reread Falkner by Mary Shelley (one of the primary works in my dissertation) before starting to write about it

– Compile a list of quotes and scenes I could possibly use for the chapter

– Research around Falkner and do a lot of book and article reading (right now, my reading list includes Family Likeness by Mary Jean Corbett and The Orphaned Imagination by Giunn Batten)

– Put together at least an outline of a draft of my Falkner chapter; hopefully, at least a partially written draft by the end of the summer

Other work:

– Post on the blog about what I’m doing dissertation-wise at least once a week; I’m hoping this extra pressure will help keep me actually working

– Put together a new English 1 syllabus for the fall

– Participate in reading and writing groups (a Spatial Theory reading group, plus a writing group featuring mostly post-docs)

Recreational/hobby things: 

– Start going to exercise classes; either yoga or rejoin the Y

– go to many beaches! Post pictures!

– Floss more. You know?

– Cook everything, and go to Sarma right down the road

– Gardening! I have recently started a little garden in the back of my house, and I hope to actually keep it alive. After it stops raining here, I’ll take pictures and post updates. I have some herbs (rosemary, dill, and thyme) and a few veggies (cucumbers, zucchini squash, and a small little kale plant)

These are fairly reasonable, I think. I am always wary of either underselling myself when it comes to what I can get done or completely overloading my life with so much that I can’t help but be mediocre. Hopefully I can accomplish most of these goals without compromising how well I do them.

But now, I would like to share some things that I HAVE accomplished this summer (and by accomplished I mean I went on vacation). The dissertation prospectus has been approved, and I am filing in on Thursday (finally! woohoo! hooray!) though not without some qualifications from my advisor, as per usual. Meanwhile, I attended two beautiful weddings, and I went to the beach! Funny story: one of my best friends Cori got married about 3 days after she became a Doctor of Medicine – quite the feat! But of course people made a bigger deal out of her wedding…typical. Here are Cori and Matt.

Two weeks after Cori got married, my cousin Tory got married (yeah, this is my life. Cori, then Tory). Tory and James’s wedding was a much more formal affair.

Very fancy! My little purse matched the decor. Here’s me and my fancy mom with our fancy hair and fancy dresses and all other things fancy:

Between these two lovely but very different nuptial gatherings, I decided it was high time for an actual vacation laying on the beach doing nothing but reading Game of Thrones and drinking beer. Judy came with!

So, while I did accomplish finishing the prospectus (sort of), my other accomplishments could more suitably be called…diversions. Or, pleasure pursuits. Or…just things I did that were fun and involved booze 😀

Happy Monday!

INCS 2015: an exercise in professionalism

SO, I first starting writing this post over a month ago. This blog thing is really working out…not. I’m terrible at posting! This summer, one of my goals is to post at least weekly on the blog. In fact, I plan on writing another post TODAY outlining my summer goals. For now, though, here are my thoughts on the last academic conference I attended.

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Conferencing is a strange, anxiety-producing, intellectually-stimulating beast. Especially when you want to impress people, and feel particularly unimpressive. This weekend, I have been in Atlanta staying with my family while I attend the Interdisciplinary Nineteenth Century Studies Conference hosted by Georgia Tech, my alma mater. The conference organizers are my old professors and advisors from Tech, and they haven’t seen my work since I was an undergraduate. I had this fantasy that I would swoop in with my prospectus under my belt and a chapter or two finished and blow everyone away with how quickly and smartly I work – I would win the graduate student essay prize by a landslide, confidently speak about the profession and my dissertation project, and ask gracious and thought-provoking questions in every panel I attended.

Well. As rich and complex as my fantasy life often is, it is rarely commensurate with reality. I have been completely unconvinced by anything I have written lately, for this conference or otherwise, and knew I had no real chance at winning any prizes. So, needless to say, my confidence did not keep me from sitting in a cold sweat for most of the first day of the conference.

INCS is also a particularly rigorous and smart conference; other conferences I have been to have tended to be, well, less so. The papers never seem to make a point, and the conversations that ensue never seem to go anywhere either (at my very first conference, the first question after the panelists had presented their papers was directed at me: “Have you ever been to India?” started  a woman with a BEEF IS WHAT’S FOR DINNER badge pinned on her denim shirt. “No, I haven’t, though I would love to someday.” “You should make sure you do that.” Conversation end). But, every panel I attended at INCS was genuinely interesting; though I learned more, appreciated the talks, and felt inspired by the intellectual conversation, these things did absolutely nothing for my steadily diminishing self-esteem.

At the end of the first day, I met up with my old mentor for an actual drink – it does feel strangely gratifying to be able to have cocktails with a professor. She was so encouraging and gracious and caring that, aided by the fish-bowl sized gin and tonic garnished with flower petals, I felt good about myself for first time since I arrived. Though conference atmosphere can be painfully frantic, the benefits can actually outweigh the anxiety. Maintaining supportive connections, feeling excited about ideas and new concepts, learning about all of the books I need/want to read (a list of which will follow). I also feel like I’ve learned a little more about what others in the profession are doing, how established scholars present themselves and their work, and what the future of the field might look like. Here are some things I’ve seen:

– Historicism is still the biggest thing in 19th century literature. It makes sense, considering it is an historical discipline. But it’s also interesting considering the longevity of this trend – New Historicism came on the scene in 80s, and it seems like most projects (at least at this conference) are situated within authorial/social/political contexts.

– Even seasoned scholars, who have written multiple books and are tenured faculty members, can be a little bumbly in panels. There was one panel in particular where everyone was a superstar – I’ve read books by at least 3 of the participants, and articles by all of them – and the conversation was sort of lackluster. They all had interesting projects but the questions and answers didn’t seem to cohere. This makes me personally feel more confident, but also a little disheartened. I am a bumbly, awkward person, so maybe I could make something of myself in this profession. But, at the same time, the job market is so competitive that if the people who hold these coveted positions of success still don’t know how to talk about their projects, what does that mean? It sort of makes me feel like the market isn’t based on merit, but other things…who you know, what’s super popular right now, if your project sounds “sexy” or “provocative.”

– Your undergraduate professors will pretty much be proud of you regardless of what you present. Two of my old profs sat in on my panel and took pictures and were generally the most supportive people ever. Our conversations were great – I feel like I learned a lot about where to take my project and was happy with how it went, despite how nervous I was about presenting in front of my professors who I want to impress more than anything.

– Everyone is still trying to figure out what the hell the Digital Humanities entails and what it means for the profession/how to incorporate “it” into pedagogy and scholarship.

Dr. Narin Hassan, ME, and Dr. Nihad Farooq; two of my biggest supporters since the beginning

Books, websites, collectives I want.need to check out:

– The Orphaned Imagination: Melancholy and Commodity Culture in English Romanticism, Guinn Batten

–  The Collective Biographies of Women, Allison Booth http://womensbios.lib.virginia.edu/

– “Where is Cultural Criticism in the Digital Humanities?” Alan Liu http://liu.english.ucsb.edu/where-is-cultural-criticism-in-the-digital-humanities/

– How We Became Posthuman, N. Kathryn Hales

– BRANCH Collective, http://www.branchcollective.org/

– Family Likeness, Mary Jean Corbett

– Cities of the Dead, Joseph Roach

All in all, it was a good weekend. I know I still need to learn a whole lot about academia, but I also need to recognize how much I already know, and see the contributions I could make as valuable ones.

Polenta Fries, Pizzettes, a Cat and a Conference

This week is spring break for students at Tufts, and my advisor asked me to cat sit for the week while she is away with her family. I gladly accepted, 1) because it’s a little extra money and being a grad student isn’t the most glamorous of titles, and 2) because I can stay in her giant and beautiful house in Brookline and get some work done in peace and quiet. I currently live with four other people, which is wonderful – I love living communally and think it’s better for myself and the world. BUT, this has been a great opportunity to be alone in a quiet space, something that is a bit of a luxury. I’ve been working on a conference paper that I need to submit on Friday that is based on one of the chapters of my dissertation on Mary Shelley and Emily Bronte. It’s been a nice break from writing my dissertation prospectus (an outline of sorts that serves as a proposal for your dissertation project). The house I’m staying in also has a gorgeous open kitchen with big windows, so I thought I would take advantage of the natural light and do a little cooking while I’m here. Last night I made mini pizzas with roasted garlic, pesto, and olives (I can’t believe I called them pizzettes in the title, but what-are-ya-gunna-do) and Parmesan Polenta fries, both of which I am particularly proud of. I am staying here a few nights, and needed to get a few ingredients that I could use for more than one meal, so I decided to use tortillas for the pizza crusts here (I will probably make some sort of taco tomorrow). You could use any sort of flat, bread-like item you have on hand; these tortillas are a mixture of corn and wheat, but gluten free corn tortillas, pita bread, or even naan I think could work equally well.

Ingredients: small corn and wheat tortillas, kalamata olives, pesto, provolone and mozzarella cheese, and roasted garlic

First, roast two bulbs of garlic (I saved one for later because I LOVE IT). Strip off the excess skin around the bulb, and then chop off the top so you can see the tops of the cloves. Then drizzle it in olive oil and wrap it in either foil or parchment paper. Roast at 400 degrees until soft, about 40 minutes.

I started the Polenta Fries right after I threw the garlic in the oven – they will be finished before your pizzas, but they make a great appetizer 🙂 Start with a tube of Polenta. You could make your own, but using a tube is much faster and its already as firm as you need it to be to make fries. Cut the polenta into fries – I cut mine in half down the middle, and then eye-balled how big I thought a normal fry was. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Place the fries on a baking sheet, and then give them a good drizzle of olive oil (or, as Rachel Ray calls it, EVOO). I then sprinkled them with salt and pepper and grated some fresh parmesan cheese over them. Put them in the oven with your garlic and bake until crispy, approximately 30 minutes.

Polenta fries coated in olive oil, salt, pepper, and parmesan cheese, ready to go in the oven.

While the fries are cooking and the garlic is roasting, prep your ingredients for the mini pizzas. You can really put anything you want on these, but if you want the tortilla to stay crispy, make sure you don’t overload it with toppings. I started by putting the tortillas on a baking sheet and baking them along with the fries and garlic. You can skip this step, but your crust won’t be as crispy on the bottom. After the tortillas crisp up a little (about ten minutes in the oven) put on your toppings! Here’s how I did mine:

Pesto

Freshly grated cheese – You can use any kind, but I used a little provolone and mozzarella

Sliced kalamata olives

Roasted garlic

After taking the garlic out of the oven, I let it cool a little bit while working with the other ingredients, and then just gave it a good squeeze over the pizzas until I was satisfied. The one pictured above has quite a bit of garlic on it, but as you know if you’ve roasted garlic before, the flavor mellows enough that you could eat an entire bulb of it (at least I can). Use your discretion 🙂 Then just pop them in the oven that is still hot from baking the fries, roasting the garlic, and crisping your tortillas, and bake until the cheese is nice and bubbly.

Final cheesy crispy salty garlicky product

If you haven’t already eaten all of your polenta fries, they go quite well together.

Polenta Fries with Parmesan, salt, and pepper

The Polenta fries were definitely a winner. When I make the mini pizzas again, I might use less pesto or even leave the pesto off entirely, and make sure I get olives that are packed in brine and not olive oil, because they turned out a tid bit greasy. I still loved the flavors though!

Anyway, back to cuddling with this guy, and attempting to write something convincing about books!

Sebastian the cat

– Bryn

Condensed recipe

Garlic, Olive, and Pesto Pizzettes with Parmesan Polenta Fries 

Polenta Fries:

– 1 prepackaged tube Polenta

– 2 tbsp olive oil

– 1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

– 1/4 tsp salt + 1/4 tsp pepper

1.Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Cut the tube of polenta into small fries and place on a large baking sheet.

2. Drizzle fries with olive oil and sprinkle with Parmesan, salt, and pepper.

3. Bake until crispy, about 30 minutes. Serve warm.

Makes about 30 fries 

Pizzettes:

– 4-6 corn and wheat tortillas

– 2 bulbs garlic

– drizzle olive oil

– 1/4 cup prepared pesto

– ~3/4 cup grated cheese (I used a mix of provolone and mozzarella)

– 1/4 cup kalamata olives, sliced

1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Remove excess skin from garlic bulbs, chop off their tops so the cloves are exposed, and drizzle with olive oil. Wrap in either parchment or foil, and roast for about 40 minutes, or until soft (I tested mine with a small fork to make sure they were done). Let cool slightly before handling.

2. Crisp the tortillas. Place tortillas on a baking sheet and put in oven while the garlic is roasting. Bake for ten minutes or until the tortillas are crispy.

3. Top the pizzas. Distribute your toppings equally among the tortillas. I put the pesto sauce on first, then the grated cheese, olives, and finally the roasted garlic. Squeeze the bulb of garlic and the soft, roasted cloves should pop right out. Add the garlic to taste.

4. Place the pizzas, on the baking sheet, back in the 400 degree oven and bake until the cheese is melted and bubbly.

Makes 4-6 mini pizzas

Embarquement

In this blog, I will be posting about various projects and thoughts I am working on as a graduate student, teacher, tutor, and culture consumer. I am writing a dissertation on nineteenth century women writers, and a lot of my thoughts on these authors and books will appear here; I struggle managing writing on a daily basis, and part of what I want to do with a blog is practice putting together cohesive pieces of writing on the regular! I already feel nervous about this short little paragraph, and I’ve barely written anything yet!

Alongside my academic interests, I also hope to post a little bit about other things like food, music, and the internet. I love to cook and eat, and would love to practice writing recipes and writing about food in general. There’s a lot of writing on the internet, yes, but also a lot of other types of interesting creative work being done specifically for the digital world. I’m hoping to explore some of it here!

Here’s to the practice of writing; let’s get going.